By Jean Mlincek

My sister spent an entire weekend emptying out her kitchen drawers and cabinets so they can be professionally painted. That is probably the only motivation I know for doing such an arduous and boring task, other than a infestation of roaches. I ask you, who on earth clears out their cupboards today? This is usually a chore left for the next of kin, if you know what I mean.

My sister was astounded by how much junk she had in her all told 35 drawers and cabinets. Try five pizza pans: one with holes for more even heating, one with a rim, one thinner than thin-crust pizza, one regular tin, and one that may have been used by Big Caesar (“pizza, pizza”) back in the day. Hey, they didn‘t have delivery back then !

She also pulled out three crock pots, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. Sorry, I got carried away. Does anyone use crock pots these days? Imagine your food cooking all blasted day long? I get impatient with frozen dinners that take four minutes in the microwave. Anyway, my sister has 3 different sizes: large, medium, small. Maybe she was traumatized as a child by the Goldie Locks story and wanted to make sure she had a crock pot for Papa Bear, Mama Bear, and Baby Bear. Whatever.

My sister also has a bundt pan, a cake tin popular in the 4th Century B.C. I think she occasionally uses it as a giant Jell-O mold. I have never owned a bundt pan in all my life, but I did confess to my sister that I had a couple of chiffon cake pans in my cupboard for at least 40 years. I finally parted with them 2 years ago. They are also known as tube pans, which to me sound like they belong in the garage for those home-bred mechanics who like to drain their own engine oil.

I have never owned a steamer. Again, my sister has three. Her two children must have come home from school each day, fearing what would be on the supper plate. “Oh, no! Rice again?” they would moan. She probably had white rice in one, brown rice in another, and wild rice in the third. Her children always prayed for Rice Crispies, but that never happened.

My sister will fork over two crock pots, her rarely used bundt pan, two tube pans, and at least one of her steamers, along with 3,456 utensils to her church’s thrift store. She wants to get them there incognito. That would be like Edward Scissorhands clearing security at some international airport.

Right now, she has all the kitchen paraphernalia sitting in boxes in her living room, waiting to put things back once the painters leave. Her husband complained that SHE should take all the boxes to the basement because they are ruining the living room decor. I have trekked her basements stairs; they are like scaling a sheer cliff. We both voted for the boxes to stay in the living room.

At least one good thing came out of this house-keeping sweep; my sister didn’t find one single roach. Or one married one, for that matter. It’s time to put a cap on the pen, set it aside and relish a lifetime of fond memories. This is my last article, as I’ve chosen to retire to spend time with family and discover what retired living is all about.

I’m so grateful for the many friendships I’ve developed over the years and bonds that will live on forever. Be good to yourselves and the ones you love. Be kind to all – Jean Mincek